Raising Good Young Men
Over the last few weeks, we have all been confronted by some very disturbing news and information related to sexual assault matters and the importance of respectful relationships. While reports about several alleged incidents have been emerging from the Federal Parliament in Canberra, the growing list of names associated with a petition in Sydney that details the often-harrowing accounts of the sexual assault of teenage girls, has been increasingly upsetting. This point was emphasised by Edmund Rice Education Australia’s Executive Director, Dr Craig Wattam, when he stated, “The powerful testimonies provided by the many young women in the online petition are disturbing and are an indictment on societal decency”.
I have found all aspects of these matters shocking and very disappointing. The responsibility and indeed privilege of forming in our young people an awareness and deep respect for themselves, others, relationships and, as appropriate, different aspects of consent, falls to all within our society.
Primarily it is families, complemented by schools and their various programs and our society in general, that seeks to instil such values in our children and young adults. The congruence and consistency of our message and example regarding these values go a long way in reinforcing them as expected and acceptable behaviours. The emergence of these issues in recent weeks should not signal finger-pointing, but rather, challenge us all to reflect on whether we could do more to educate, demonstrate and encourage our boys (and girls) about consent and respect. I believe that we need to be more overt and unequivocal about what is acceptable and what isn’t and reinforce this regularly and as developmentally appropriate. This is a shared journey that we should take with our students and unite as one voice – families, school and wider society, to positively raise our young men.
At Trinity College, within specific curriculum context this is presented in Religious Education, Health Education and through a variety of Pastoral and Formation programs. As such, aspects of respectful relationships, protective behaviours and consent are examined and taught regularly. Such lessons are further complemented by guest speakers and a targeted focus on particular themes. Of course, as a Catholic School in the Edmund Rice tradition, important Christian values about respecting the ‘dignity of others’ underpins the focus on acceptable behaviours and attitudes. The formal manner in which we follow the Keeping Safe: Child Protection Curriculum across all year levels certainly adds to this. Mindful of age appropriateness and developmental maturity, we regularly discuss these issues despite the difficulty of content.
Only last week, we had a wonderful gathering of our Year 9 boys and their parents as we launched their ‘Becoming Men Program’. This program seeks to challenge boys to sincerely examine what it is to be a ‘good man’ and in doing so, focuses on such things as right relationships, sexting, pornography, objectification and our attitudes, behaviours and language about women. Next week, we will host our International Women’s Day Breakfast and expect boys from all year groups to join with their mothers, grandmothers and sisters for this special event. International Women’s Day is a celebration of respect, love and care towards women. It is wonderful that this special day has an increasingly important place in our own College and the wider community. I am particularly proud that it forms an essential part of the curriculum and formation programs within Trinity College, and that teaching and talking about respectful relationships forms part of our holistic education of our students. The theme for the 2021 International Women’s Day is Choose to Challenge. Our boys are respectfully challenged to examine and fully appreciate the historical struggle of women to find equality, to be aware of the empowerment of women, to celebrate their many achievements and to develop a genuine and deep respect for all women.
I present these two current school examples, not as evidence of any solution to such a complex social issue, but to illustrate our ongoing commitment to keep doing more to assist in the formation of good young men. As a College seeking continual improvement and open to reviewing our practices, programs and curriculum, we always invite student voice in checking the validity and currency of our work. Similarly, the feedback from you as parents is also welcomed and valued. It is in our combined efforts and shared purpose that we can confront and confidently challenge disrespect in thought, words or actions – about and towards young women.
Respectfully, I would ask you as parents to choose the right time and right context to have a conversation with your son about respectful relationships and consent. I appreciate that such a conversation needs to be carefully considered and could be difficult, and even a little awkward. However, our young men deserve such conversations, our young women will appreciate them and our society needs them to occur.
As I have highlighted previously, it is vital that the home and the school enjoy a positive and meaningful partnership that is centred on the care, interests and formation of each student. By confronting such societal issues and challenging what is inherently wrong, we can seek to build a more positive future. We should be reminded that being Christian asks us to follow the ways of Christ. If that remains our focus and authentically guides our actions, we can be confident in developing a culture that nurtures the healthy formation of our young men. It is wonderfully reassuring to experience this so readily amongst the students at Trinity College – young men of character, purpose and integrity. They are the future – and we must always seek ways to encourage them to make such a future positive for everyone.
Live Jesus in our hearts
Mr Darren O’Neill
Principal
